Friday, November 20, 2009

Stand with us now to preserve all that once made Slurve great

Dear Patriots,

Thomas Jefferson once said the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. That time has come. We can no longer stand idly by and bow to the Commish’s socialist agenda. Aided by a few loyal followers, I have taken over Slurve to save it from the tyranny of profit sharing and salary caps. No! Slurve must remain capitalistic! The only way to provide a better product is through fair market competition! Free agency hasn’t destroyed the game; it has simply given it a dash of musical chairs! Who doesn’t love musical chairs? I have hired a number of mercenaries, including several known pirates, Delta force veterans, and a gang of Militia men armed to the teeth to ensure that Slurve is well protected. Never again will it fall into the hands of godless communists. We are prepared for siege. We are prepared for war. We will stop at nothing to protect America's pastime and we hope the Commish will give himself up quietly, but we are prepared to destroy all that is Slurve in order to save it from a socialist fate.

No one puts liberty in the corner!

Fearlessly,

The Skipper

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